Life is Precious-Buduburam Refugee Camp, Ghana

"Julian, are you on camp?"
"No I'm on my way home from Volta."
"Julian, I need to tell you that......"
"I can't hear you, Amelia. I'll call you when I get back."
"But Julian, I ........" click


After two more hours of travel, I had completely forgotten about Amelia's call. I pushed open the door to the guesthouse, dumped my weekend bag on the floor of my room, and fell asleep with only my toothbrush unpacked.

The next day as I dished out food with Amelia by my side, my mind was on the internet cafe that I would be visiting in a few hours. Amelia abruptly continued the conversation from a day earlier. "You know Precious?" My mind raced, I remembered that I hadn't called her the previous night. "Agnes's little sister Precious."

I knew her; Precious was one year old. She was the younger sister of my favorite child Agnes. Precious was the most beautiful child I had ever seen. Her eyes shined, and they seemed to smile at the world as they took it all in. Her hair was short and curly; it was a lighter brown than most people on camp which suited her lighter shade of skin. She giggled uncontrollably when Agnes tickled her. She usually gave a sharp shriek when she saw the color of my skin. I had played ball with her exactly one week ago. It had been the first day she had not been scared of me. She had toddled over to me and handed me the ball. I lifted her up, and she sat in my lap, happily cooing.

"She's gone. She died on Sunday."

My mind spun. I stared at the floor and let the intense emotion wash over me. My mind couldn't grasp the situation. My face grew hot, but the tears wouldn't come. I was far away from my body. Amelia put her hand on my back. Her touch reconnected me with the world. The floor grew blurry as my eyes filled with water and tears streamed down my cheeks.

By the time Agnes had come to get her food my eyes had dried, but they still betrayed me with their redness. Agnes sat next to me; I stroked her back as she ate her cassava and stew. Her calm face and collected manner had tricked me into thinking she had come to terms with the loss of her sister. After two bites she pushed her bowl away and stared at the floor.

Agnes had always been willing hold my hand for hours but had refused all offers to sit on my lap. She didn't resist now as I lifted her into my arms and cradled her.I held her tight and rocked her as we cried on each other. Everything that she had held back from me came out as she started to sob. Everything that I had held back from her came out as I started to sob. I needed to hold her as much as she needed to be held.

Agnes holding Precious