Liar, Liar! Pants on Fire!
I don't care, I don't care! I'll just buy another pair!
Something unusual happened today. I told a lie. I didn't want to, and I didn't really have to. I just did to save time, avoid an uncomfortable situation, and hopefully, keep from hurting someones feelings. Such an unusual occurrence made me ponder the value and validity of lying. What is a lie? Is it ever okay to lie? Is there value in lying? Do the rules of lying change based on the form of communication?
To lie is "to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive" or "to create a false or misleading impression." The first definition is pretty clear, deceiving someone on purpose by giving information known to be false. This is the standard definition of a lie. The second definition is where lying gets a little hazy. A vast amount of situations fall under the umbrella of a "false or misleading impression." Omitting information. Letting someone act on a idea that you know is false. Lies? They can certainly be interpreted as such.
In most occasions, it's not okay to lie (planning a surprise party, it's probably okay). You shouldn't lie to friends, family, or people you respect. In general you shouldn't lie to anyone, but it is a helluva lot easier to lie to someone who you don't know well or don't respect. How many times have you been asked by a homeless person if you have any money and replied, "No, I'm sorry," even with a pocket full of coins or a wallet full of cash? Every the freakin' time for me. In many cases instead of lying, it's probably best to say, "I'd prefer not to talk about it."
There can be value in lying. Although we most often recognize the value for the liar, a lie can hold value for the ly-ee, as well. Take for example a sleazy used car salesman. Lying about features and prices of cars boosts his sales and profits. Now take for example a parent lying to a child about a dead pet. This lie has no real value for the parents, but it saves emotional turmoil for the child. Less obvious, the value of "white lies" is often saving face or saving time. In general, it is easier to tell lies that have value. Conversely, there can be cost to lying. Getting caught in a lie causes a liar to lose credibility, which is an enormous cost as it is difficult to regain trust. That sleazy car salesman caught in a lie will lose customers. The parents with the dead pet will have to deal with an angry or devastated child.
The rules of lying don't exactly change over different forms of communication, but it is much easier to lie through text, email, Facebook, or dating sites than it is in person (I lied over text). The same rules should apply (you shouldn't lie to someone over text that you wouldn't lie to in person), but often don't.
It is probably best lie sparingly if at all, and when you do, be prepared for the cost.
Liar, Liar! Pants on fire! Hanging from a telephone wire,
Squirming, squirming, pants are burning. When I lie my hips start turning.
In most occasions, it's not okay to lie (planning a surprise party, it's probably okay). You shouldn't lie to friends, family, or people you respect. In general you shouldn't lie to anyone, but it is a helluva lot easier to lie to someone who you don't know well or don't respect. How many times have you been asked by a homeless person if you have any money and replied, "No, I'm sorry," even with a pocket full of coins or a wallet full of cash? Every the freakin' time for me. In many cases instead of lying, it's probably best to say, "I'd prefer not to talk about it."
There can be value in lying. Although we most often recognize the value for the liar, a lie can hold value for the ly-ee, as well. Take for example a sleazy used car salesman. Lying about features and prices of cars boosts his sales and profits. Now take for example a parent lying to a child about a dead pet. This lie has no real value for the parents, but it saves emotional turmoil for the child. Less obvious, the value of "white lies" is often saving face or saving time. In general, it is easier to tell lies that have value. Conversely, there can be cost to lying. Getting caught in a lie causes a liar to lose credibility, which is an enormous cost as it is difficult to regain trust. That sleazy car salesman caught in a lie will lose customers. The parents with the dead pet will have to deal with an angry or devastated child.
The rules of lying don't exactly change over different forms of communication, but it is much easier to lie through text, email, Facebook, or dating sites than it is in person (I lied over text). The same rules should apply (you shouldn't lie to someone over text that you wouldn't lie to in person), but often don't.
It is probably best lie sparingly if at all, and when you do, be prepared for the cost.
Liar, Liar! Pants on fire! Hanging from a telephone wire,
Squirming, squirming, pants are burning. When I lie my hips start turning.
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