Ok, drawing a connection between waterboarding and a roll-aboard may be a bit extreme,
but I'm not happy about either of them. American travelers are addicted to
wheeled luggage. I am officially making public my vendetta against the
clicky-clack, standard-black roll-aboard. I'm declaring war against the
masses of mindless travelers with roll-aboards in tow.
My guerrilla tactics have been rendered ineffective by the sheer
number of roll-aboard travelers. I can only flip so many roll-aboards when I
"accidentally get my foot rolled over." I can't fight the good fight
alone. I'm calling on you to join the fight. While we may not be able to flip all of the
roll-aboards, maybe we can start a revolution and turn back the clocks to a
time when a simple weekender bag was the only way to travel.
Declare independence from rigid, wheeled carry-ons that take up all
of the overhead room. Take back the space at the bottom of your luggage that
your roll-aboard frame has taken from you. Free yourself from boring-black-boxy
luggage. Silence the clack-clack-clack of wheel on tile.
Join my ranks and reap the rewards. Once the enemy is eliminated,
I promise you that your soft-cased weekender duffel will fit easily into the
overhead. No cramming, no jamming, no gate checking.
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